Monday, December 27, 2010

why I say all the way our Saviour leads us

I guess the title says it all. since it is our wedding theme and our heart's song, I thought it is good to re-cap, and re-count once again, the blessings that God has given me in this journey with emerson.

we go a long way back. and when I say long way, I do mean loooooong way! so long, that some years just seem to go by in a blurr!

emerson and I first met each other in kindergarten. he was short and cute. I was short and cute. all kids are short and cute, right? :) ok, honestly, I can't remember the details, other than (I think) we would take the same school bus to school. and we (probably) played with each other.

time flew by and year after year, we grew older (and taller!). we became more familiar with each other because we would see each other every sat and sun in church.

ah ha. it got to the year when sparks started to fly. 姐, now that I think back, I seriously think u have a part to play in this, although I can't place my finger at exactly why! I liked him, and I think he liked me, but I was never too sure. I mean, u probably would like someone if you greeted her good morning and goodnight with an sms everyday, right? yet, nothing was ever said. at that time, I just knew that I enjoyed his company. he was funny, sporty, he loved his brother (who was soooo cute THEN), he loved God and he seemed to be a disciplined student, talented in many ways. we studied, we sent sms-es to each other… we played with ahjijan (who was only 5-6 years old)…and we grew older, yet again.

then, in JC1, he took part in a series of judo competitions that required him to fly overseas to quite a lot of places (korea, vietnam, etc..). absence made the heart grow fonder! just before he left, we celebrated my birthday and that was when my heart really melted! he gave me an sms book, recording all our exchange of sms-es for the past year! I was deeply touched and at that point, I knew with a certainty that I meant something to him. we kept in touch through emails, he wrote me a postcard for the first time and he shared more about himself through his emails.

when he came back, he asked me out on a date! on the bus, on 7th november 2003, he told me that he was fond of me. I blushed and I kept quiet for a very long time. and then I said, lets take things slow.

10 August 2004 - we held hands. :) :) so this is the "electric shock" that rev quek was talking about :)

2005-2006 2 years of pain, heartbreaks and tears because God sent Army and Sandhurst to teach us. to help us to be sure, to mould our perspectives, and recognise each others' weaknesses, and to see how we simply could not do without Him.

7 Nov 2008 - the day he proposed to me. many have asked: what makes you so sure that God wants you to get married now? it is clear because God sent a blessing so emerson could provide for the family while he is studying. this means that we can afford to take care of ourselves. to us, this was very clear sign. however, we felt young, unprepared, unsure. after speaking to rev koshy, we were comforted by his advice and we felt sure that it was God's will to take the path towards marriage.

who would have known? man proposes, God disposes. in the span of a few months, a few hiccups were sent our way. one major hiccup sent forced us to rethink the time of our marriage, for the sake of our loved ones and being a good testimony. it felt so painful at that time! I could not bear the thought of waiting an extra 2 years to get married after being engaged.

now, looking back, what can I say? it is God's perfect plan and timing! through this two years, we have matured, grown, learnt to understand and accommodate each other and learnt to work through our problems in a wiser way. im not saying that we are perfect or fully equipped for marriage as we are far from that! nonetheless, we have been taught precious lessons from God through these two years of preparation.

through these 7-8 years of Ups and Downs, we testify that it is entirely by His keeping and His enabling that we are still together, and that we still love each other (more and more by His grace!). He has taught us what love is, and by Him, and what He has done for us, we recognise how He desires for us to love each other too.

therefore, as we approach the wedding day, I am so excited. I am not excited about the decorations, the cards, the bouquets, the photographer or the dinner. these are not things that matter. yes, these bits and pieces make the day memorable and we do like to make things look nice/meaningful. but what makes me so glad in the heart is the fact that after these 7-8 years of seeking and courting, it has cumulated to a day where we are more eager than ever to do God's will and make this promise to keep loving each other, just like we have been learning to do so for the past years. it has taught me that when we seek to do His will, we do not go wrong. and much as there are a lot of uncertainty and fears, I find courage in the fact that our Lord will continue to lead us, just like He has done so, simply because we are doing what He wants us to do!

it is such a joy as a child of God to rest in this simple assurance: the Lord will lead you all the way. in this truth, I find comfort, peace, joy. when tough times come our way, we know that behind it all, God has a perfect plan for us. dear friends, are u a child of God? the years of courtship are nothing to do with coincidences. all these circumstances sent our way have a higher purpose to shape and mould us into who He wants us to do, to bring us to where we are today. there is a great God in this world! but is He your God? we pray and hope that through our holy matrimony, you may come to know this God of ours, who has led us all the way…

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see u in…. SIX DAYS!!!! :) :) :)

4 comments:

geri (GT) said...

Great testimony Esther (:

God's plans are indeeed, beyond comprehension yet, holds a beauty in them (:

I pray for both you and Emerson to love in His name and continue to love and bless others (:

"...But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Joshua 24:15b

Ruth said...

congratulations! haha not sure if you remember me, im Ruth (dorothy koh's church friend who does sewing also, we exchanged a couple of emails before).

joan:) said...

Ahma!! :)

Haha.. Reading your testimony has encouraged me. And I'm glad you posted it up too. But I guess for some things, even though you're reading someone else's very encouraging life story, you just have to go through it yourself and learn what God has to teach. :)

Can't wait to see you back.. Enjoy :D

Huiyi said...

I am very encouraged by your testimony! :) God is faithful indeed! :)