4 months - when going to the hospital can bring good news too

my baby boy,

you have made many marvellous milestones, such as bring able to clasp your hands together, to turning your head back, as though in search of something. once, you even unintentionally rolled over! mama and papa continue to be amazed by how God helps you to grow and pick up new skills. you seem to have found your feet, and you are always rubbing them together. toys appeal to you now, and you jump into excited fits when we start to read a book together :)

we can't quite imagine life without you, because you have brought so much joy to us with your constant smiles and funny antics.

this month, i do not have much to say about your milestones, because all that is etched on my mind is what happened recently. 

you fell sick. you have never been entirely, completely healthy since you were born (who is? such is the result of sin in this world :(  ) but this recent bout of cough really caught us by surprise and made us worry and fear, alot. for once, i truly experienced the worry of how you may never recover. initially, when we first saw the doctor, i was not extremely worried. you had no fever, and you will still active, although the phlegm caused you some breathing difficulties every now and then. days passed, and you soon got a runny nose, and your cough never went away. this added to my worries. 

when feeding you medicine :( :(

we went to see the pd again, and to our dismay, she diagnosed you with bronchitis! for a little one like you, with an illness that already sounds like a mouthful, it was very very worrying. before we left the clinic, we had to sit through 5 minutes of the nebulizer. as i held you in one hand, the other holding the nebulizer, my heart ached. i felt guilty, as though i did not take proper care of you, and at the same time, sad that you had to be subjected to something like that at such a young age. we returned home with an array of medication, including antibiotics :(

our worries mounted when yiyi reminded me to look out for chest retractions. i studied your chest and oh dear, there were retractions indeed. unsure if that was what she meant, i sent her a video and she confirmed with yi zhang that they were something serious. subcostal retractions, they call it. a google search was enough to send chills down my spine, because that meant that you were having acute respiratory difficulties. "i think you should go to the hospital..." were yiyi's words, and my heart sank :( 

at the same time, i was thoroughly confounded. although you were still coughing and sometimes gasping for breath, you were at times happy and you could sleep through the night. what's going on? is there something really serious that i did not pick up? baby, are you that tough, that even when you are SO sick, you can still seem ok?

off to the hospital (children's emergency) we went. junior doctor examined your lungs, and said that they were fine. huh? what about the retractions, we asked. she frowned and told us that she would check with the senior doctor. senior doctor came in, clearly knowing what she was doing. to our surprise, she said you had no bronchitis, and that you did not require any other medication besides nose drops!

going to the hospital can bring good news too. 

what is the purpose behind this? God has put this into our family's lives that we may learn how important it is to trust in Him. to make mama realise that it is not the doctor or the medication that is going to make you better. to teach us how to suffer long, and to cling unto God in such a time of desperation. and to help us realise how many prayer warriors stand by us, making their supplications known unto the King of kings, on our behalf. we are truly blessed, Ezra, that we are under the care of God Almighty.