tots on parenting #4

when my child is sick ...

this is probably one of the greatest trial that God can put in the life of a mother. the fear that the child does not recover, the heartache that comes from seeing your child suffer, and the impatience for the child to quickly recover are all overwhelming emotions that one needs to deal with, in the midst of all the frantic physical care-giving. it's been tough, but there are a few lessons that God has taught me through this:

1) Ezra is not mine. He is given by God, and under the care of God Almighty.

"But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows." Luke 12:7

2) Don't think beyond tomorrow, for it can be too much to bear

"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Matthew 6:34

3) Trials like this can come, to build our faith and teach us how important it is to trust in Him.

"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." Psalms 37:5

4) I need to learn to suffer long, and be contented with whatever state God places us in

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." James 1:3-4

 

5) I am thankful for the fellow prayer warriors who committed Ezra to God in prayer when he was ill.

" Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." James 5:16

thank God that we can bear one another's burdens :) (pun intended :)

5 months

my dear baby, 

this month has passed in a blur and we are sooo sleep-deprived. what is going through this little mind of yours, that causes you to wake up ever so frequently when you used to be a sound sleeper? we do wonder, and at times, despair... but thank God that day by day and with each passing moment, strength we find to meet our trials here :) 

on a happy note, perhaps it's because you really are growing. suddenly, you seem so engaged and active, so easily excited and acutely aware of your surroundings. mama has become a familiar face to you, such that you don't want her out of your sight (especially when you are feeling cranky). you are chattering and blabbering, to people, soft toys, lights and fans. your legs, the moment you awake, are on non-stop action. kick kick kick! 

as we look back on this month, i think the biggest thanksgiving is how God has seen mama and papa through, for it has not been an easy month. papa has been especially busy at work, and sometimes, returning to find you asleep. mama has been "forced", or "trained" (by God) to learn to be independent in taking care of you. and she has made some milestones! walking to the nearby food centre is a breeze now, after we have taken the mrt and taxi :) mama has even taken you for a drive in the car..... which sometimes you take to while other times.....hmmm.... let's just say you missed mama too much ;)

you also have a few "firsts" :) first time you rolled intentionally from front to back, first haircut, first two nights away from home during the yaf retreat :) 

your personality is emerging. you have fussy peculiarities and when not given your way, will make your displeasure known. for example, you seem to dislike wearing clothes?! sometimes, we are confounded as to when we ought to scold you or discipline you. may God give us the wisdom to do so :) without anyone teaching you, you learn to get angry, throw tantrums, and make your desires known. why? its our sin nature. ( For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Rom 3:23) how we pray that one day you will quickly come to know our Saviour, Jesus Christ, the only one who can deliver us from the bondage of sin. 

nevertheless, my dear, we love you more than ever. you have brought so many smiles to our faces and God has used you to teach us so much. we can't quite imagine life without you anymore :)

tots on parenting #4 - I'm blessed to be a mother

I'm blessed to be a mother because

 

E was not my choice, but a gift from God

 

E was not part of my plan, but given in God's perfect timing

 

I get to work with PP, who has given so much as a husband and a father

 

we get to grow together in mutual understanding as we take care of E

 

the trials (unexpected and soooooo difficult at times) teach us what it means to trust in God

 

people rally around us and support us as we grow in this journey of parenthood

 

I get to see my boy grow in amazing ways (physically, mentally and hopefully soon- spiritually)

 

it has been a sanctifying process with countless lessons learnt

 

I am taught to give and sacrifice in ways unimaginable

 

I am in greater awe of my mother because I see what she has done

 

I am mother of a beautiful, adorable, most-of-the-time cheery little boy

 

4 months - when going to the hospital can bring good news too

my baby boy,

you have made many marvellous milestones, such as bring able to clasp your hands together, to turning your head back, as though in search of something. once, you even unintentionally rolled over! mama and papa continue to be amazed by how God helps you to grow and pick up new skills. you seem to have found your feet, and you are always rubbing them together. toys appeal to you now, and you jump into excited fits when we start to read a book together :)

we can't quite imagine life without you, because you have brought so much joy to us with your constant smiles and funny antics.

this month, i do not have much to say about your milestones, because all that is etched on my mind is what happened recently. 

you fell sick. you have never been entirely, completely healthy since you were born (who is? such is the result of sin in this world :(  ) but this recent bout of cough really caught us by surprise and made us worry and fear, alot. for once, i truly experienced the worry of how you may never recover. initially, when we first saw the doctor, i was not extremely worried. you had no fever, and you will still active, although the phlegm caused you some breathing difficulties every now and then. days passed, and you soon got a runny nose, and your cough never went away. this added to my worries. 

when feeding you medicine :( :(

we went to see the pd again, and to our dismay, she diagnosed you with bronchitis! for a little one like you, with an illness that already sounds like a mouthful, it was very very worrying. before we left the clinic, we had to sit through 5 minutes of the nebulizer. as i held you in one hand, the other holding the nebulizer, my heart ached. i felt guilty, as though i did not take proper care of you, and at the same time, sad that you had to be subjected to something like that at such a young age. we returned home with an array of medication, including antibiotics :(

our worries mounted when yiyi reminded me to look out for chest retractions. i studied your chest and oh dear, there were retractions indeed. unsure if that was what she meant, i sent her a video and she confirmed with yi zhang that they were something serious. subcostal retractions, they call it. a google search was enough to send chills down my spine, because that meant that you were having acute respiratory difficulties. "i think you should go to the hospital..." were yiyi's words, and my heart sank :( 

at the same time, i was thoroughly confounded. although you were still coughing and sometimes gasping for breath, you were at times happy and you could sleep through the night. what's going on? is there something really serious that i did not pick up? baby, are you that tough, that even when you are SO sick, you can still seem ok?

off to the hospital (children's emergency) we went. junior doctor examined your lungs, and said that they were fine. huh? what about the retractions, we asked. she frowned and told us that she would check with the senior doctor. senior doctor came in, clearly knowing what she was doing. to our surprise, she said you had no bronchitis, and that you did not require any other medication besides nose drops!

going to the hospital can bring good news too. 

what is the purpose behind this? God has put this into our family's lives that we may learn how important it is to trust in Him. to make mama realise that it is not the doctor or the medication that is going to make you better. to teach us how to suffer long, and to cling unto God in such a time of desperation. and to help us realise how many prayer warriors stand by us, making their supplications known unto the King of kings, on our behalf. we are truly blessed, Ezra, that we are under the care of God Almighty. 

the hands-on brother

we kinda liked the dining table from star living, as mentioned here, but it was a little too small. PP and i were looking for a versatile dining table that could open up to fit more guests and this was a perfect match :) however, it seemed a little too common. thank God for a fantastic younger brother who really went all out to customise it for us! our inspirations came from here, here and here :)

colour dipping, is what it's called :)

first, he tried it out on a small portion of the table. (and even took a snapshot to show me!)

taped half of the table legs with masking tape and newspaper..

sanded and primed them..

before painting them many times over :)

it looks easy, and the tutorials online make it look so simple, but it is actually very tedious work! he even offered to paint the sides of the table top, and the outcome was really fabulous :)

my brother's labour of love was a big big help when i was heavily pregnant and now the dining table fits seamlessly in our house! even our carpenter, Mr A, asked us where we got it from! thank you so much brother :) you really went the extra mile and made sure that the paint job was done to perfection. your masterpiece is going to stay in our home for many many years to come!